A ROCK AND A DAMN HARD PLACE

So,

Its been about a bijzillion light years since I have ever been in any type of relationship, or on the verge of a relationship, or even thought about being on the verge of any type of relationship (you get the point- its been a minute), So I may be a little rusty on how things work. However comma I think i have committed potential relationship suicide, and Confusion doesnt even cover this jambalaya of emotions i feel. I think I am just gonna tell the story... You figure my life out.

names have been changed just for the sake of storytelling

On a random trip earlier this semester I went on a supercool, overrefreshing, extremely random trip with some girlfriends (The best trip EVER!!!) This is where I meet this guy. Lets call him MURRY (lol sike lets call him something else, Bob). Bob is everything MP3 Loves in a guy. Hes Eclectic, Funny, Inspiring, can dress his ASS off, and Driven (where did they make this guy and why arent there more like him?????!) Now Bob and I become really good friends, and the attraction is there. Things start off innocently enough, but over time, Bob starts to get to me. In a good way. A very good way. Like I really like Bob. Really. I look forward to hearing from Bob DAILY, and if I dont hear from him, Ive thought about him like 3 times (Does anyone have Gatorade, because I am apparently THIRSTY) And I know that Bob feels the same way (yup I know it for a fact) Were vibing on every level, conversation taking my mind to new heights, the whole 9 (or 3, since this is an MP3 blog...wink). Now lets have a sidebar; Bob and I have established that we are just getting to know each other, so nothing exclusive is really happening just yet. This is cool, because I dont think I am ready for a relationship (as bad as I would like to, not a smart move right now) Either way, I really like Bob so it doesnt even matter.

Now lets talk about Jim... Jim and I have been friends for idk how long, but there has always been that underlying je ne sais quoi between the two of us. But in the end, Jim and I have been friends so I kind of dismissed the idea of us being together a LONG time ago. Time passes and for some reason the feelings between Jim and I are getting strong (like there is this Huge elephant in the room and he keeps yelling at us. DAMN) Now we have yet to talk about it, and Im all confused like what is supposed to happen. But anyway...

Bob wants to take it to the Next level. As nice as that sounds, I wouldnt take it there because of this sticky situation between Jim and I. Kinda told Bob that too ( and now I think i hurt Bob's feelings... insert pout face) What do I do? As women, we always talk about not having a relationship, but what do you do when you have someone who fits the mold of what youre looking for, but cant take that step because you fear you may miss out on someone else? And what if that someone else doesnt even deserve your affection? How do you handle that?

I know that the #1 thing I should be focused on is Graduation and My schoolwork (which I should be doing right now) But Matters of the heart always distract me. This totally sucks... I just hope that Bob truly understands where Im coming from, because in the end I know id be a better person with him...

Stuck.

Until soon,
Cammy