A ROCK AND A DAMN HARD PLACE

So,

Its been about a bijzillion light years since I have ever been in any type of relationship, or on the verge of a relationship, or even thought about being on the verge of any type of relationship (you get the point- its been a minute), So I may be a little rusty on how things work. However comma I think i have committed potential relationship suicide, and Confusion doesnt even cover this jambalaya of emotions i feel. I think I am just gonna tell the story... You figure my life out.

names have been changed just for the sake of storytelling

On a random trip earlier this semester I went on a supercool, overrefreshing, extremely random trip with some girlfriends (The best trip EVER!!!) This is where I meet this guy. Lets call him MURRY (lol sike lets call him something else, Bob). Bob is everything MP3 Loves in a guy. Hes Eclectic, Funny, Inspiring, can dress his ASS off, and Driven (where did they make this guy and why arent there more like him?????!) Now Bob and I become really good friends, and the attraction is there. Things start off innocently enough, but over time, Bob starts to get to me. In a good way. A very good way. Like I really like Bob. Really. I look forward to hearing from Bob DAILY, and if I dont hear from him, Ive thought about him like 3 times (Does anyone have Gatorade, because I am apparently THIRSTY) And I know that Bob feels the same way (yup I know it for a fact) Were vibing on every level, conversation taking my mind to new heights, the whole 9 (or 3, since this is an MP3 blog...wink). Now lets have a sidebar; Bob and I have established that we are just getting to know each other, so nothing exclusive is really happening just yet. This is cool, because I dont think I am ready for a relationship (as bad as I would like to, not a smart move right now) Either way, I really like Bob so it doesnt even matter.

Now lets talk about Jim... Jim and I have been friends for idk how long, but there has always been that underlying je ne sais quoi between the two of us. But in the end, Jim and I have been friends so I kind of dismissed the idea of us being together a LONG time ago. Time passes and for some reason the feelings between Jim and I are getting strong (like there is this Huge elephant in the room and he keeps yelling at us. DAMN) Now we have yet to talk about it, and Im all confused like what is supposed to happen. But anyway...

Bob wants to take it to the Next level. As nice as that sounds, I wouldnt take it there because of this sticky situation between Jim and I. Kinda told Bob that too ( and now I think i hurt Bob's feelings... insert pout face) What do I do? As women, we always talk about not having a relationship, but what do you do when you have someone who fits the mold of what youre looking for, but cant take that step because you fear you may miss out on someone else? And what if that someone else doesnt even deserve your affection? How do you handle that?

I know that the #1 thing I should be focused on is Graduation and My schoolwork (which I should be doing right now) But Matters of the heart always distract me. This totally sucks... I just hope that Bob truly understands where Im coming from, because in the end I know id be a better person with him...

Stuck.

Until soon,
Cammy

Winter winds, spiked egg nog, empty pockets, and lost hope

"Wait for it and savor it.Live in it. The moment comes." Kreme. (Six produced by Afta-1)

The weekend is here to grace our presence. It's cold...wait, F-ing FREEZING!!!! There is a garden terrace outside of my window whose trees are trimmed in Christmas lights and pond is frozen and a half drunken glass of Egg Nog with Brandy in it sits on my nightstand. My football jerseyed pup,Carson, is snuggled in between my pink polka dot comforter and my pillows as I sit on the floor with a dim light (again-it's my thing) writing. Listening to Kreme sing- telling the guy to wait for her. Afta-1 (who has to be one of my favorite producers ever, not to mention his CHARMING and ECLECTIC, good looks) definitely went hard on this mellow beat.

It's one week left of school and I am faced with STUPID STACKS of homework. All of which could have been avoided if I didn't procrastinate. lol... well that explains it. And yet and still, I am trying to go out to party with a few old friends leaving the sketching, reading, and typing alone again for the night (btw, all of this is due on monday). I'm ready to hit the road and leave MOMMY'S house, permenantly. But I can't yet. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Looked at my pockets, empty... not even lent. Damn. I need another job.Can't do much, but for some reason, I always find a way. Don't know if that will be the case tonight. I wish I could just be done with school, move to NYC for three years and then migrate to LA or LONDON. I'm missing someone who isn't even in my life. How is that possible?

Seems like I'm always sad- to both of us. I've been through this phase before. I probably got out of it for like a month so this is a pretty permenant life emotion. However, once I leave here, HOPEFULLY it'll change. I hate homework, school, money (because I never have it. point blank period), stupid people, and people who don't think creatively.

I'm taking applications for you- and for jobs. If I can't find one soon, I might have to settle for dog walking. lol. but seriously as well. I NEED MY DREAMS TO FIND REALITY RIGHT NOW.

p.s. I REALLY WANT TO BE IN L-O-V-E WITH YOU.

fin.

Until um right now,
eB.

....Our Missing Piece.....

As you all should know by now, there are three (3) very cultured members of Mrs. Proper: Nia, Ebone, and Camille.

However comma one of members has mysteriously disappeared and I wanted to send a public service announcement asking the public if they have seen this lady (pictured below)....

If so, please hit us on our good hip. Please and thank you.

We MISS Her!!!!!!

Sooner than you hoped for,

Mrs. Proper*

...Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...

I'm at work... in a quant little office with dim lighting while Charlie Brown Christmas music streams from Imeem, and my trusty sidekick, Smart Water, is situated politely next to Midnight, my Blackberry.

All of a sudden, I'm just thinking about things... random things of course.
Things that I probably think of, often-too often actually.
So let me let you in on my thoughts.

Warning, this is about MEN...almost bashing but in a more polite way... haha

Thought begins now:

I have a handful of FRIENDS, literally, and I like it that way. I have a handful of close associates and I ABSOLUTELY like it that way. Of the few people I have in my life, there are a few single ladies that stream. Now quite often, my single girls and I talk about how we are longing for a PB, potential boo. We go on about how it's winter time and love is glazing the air like hot chocolate is filling our cups- too often. After awhile, this longing becomes bitterness... Pure bitter bliss. lol. Which raises the question, why are we SINGLE if we are awesome girls?

Here's a few reasons we have come up with in the mist of all the conversations.

1. Guys say we're intimidating.
Our response: Because we have things going for ourselves and don't douse you with our immediate attraction, are we to be considered intimidating?

2. Guys say that "IT'S NOT THE RIGHT TIME"... (this one makes me giggle slightly)
Our response: Because you are still playing the field and haven't felt the need to settle is perfectly fine by us. Trust, we're young too and there is plenty of time for being serious but if there is an attraction, play on it. Don't feed us this weak excuse. We're big girls and we can certainly handle the honesty. Besides, what you may want later, will surely be hard to retain.

3. Guys say that it's not us, it's them.
Our response: Deal with it!!!!!

Thought ends now.
--------

Well that's it for right now...

Until Soon,
eB.

Mrs.Proper*

...Eb's Random thought...

Ok, so last night I was in bed early (like 12 a.m.) and I just really wanted to read something other than my fashion class notes, textbooks, or magazines. I was on some real eclectic ish. So what did I do....

Picked up one of my favorite poets books, The COLLECTED POETRY OF NIKKI GIOVANNI (1968-1998).

She has this poem that I absolutely ADORE...

It's called Make Up

Here it goes:

Make Up by Nikki Giovanni

we make up our faces

for lots of reasons

to go to the movies

or some junior prom

to see ice hockey

or watch the Dodgers come home again

defeated

going to the grocery store

only requires lipstick

while a bridge game

can mean a quick trip

to the hairdresser for a touch up

i clean my makeup

before going to bed

alone

and if my mood is foul

i spray the sheets

with Ultra Ban

most faces are made up

before the public is faced

whether male female or child

it's always so appropriate

don'tcha know

to put a little mascara around the eyes

we make up fantasies

to face life

we need to believe

we are good on the job

or at least in the bed

we make up lies

to impress people

who are making up lies

to impress us

and if either took all

the make up off

life would not be

worth living

we make up excuses

to say i'm sorry that

forgive me because

and after all didn't i tell you

why

and i make up with you

because you aren't strong

enough to reach out

to say

come home i need you

---------------------

until soon,

eB.

Dope Guy of the Week (tres)

Yo...Yo....YO!!!!



Have you missed us....well we have surely missed you. Yes we have.....


It's that time again to hit yo ass with some DOPENESS.


Just a remider, this man has to be 1. CULTURED 2. HANDSOME 3. DOPE 4. CREATIVE 5. AND ALL THINGS AWESOME...ER...



::drum roll please (and thank you)::

ALEX THERRIEN

::HELLS YEAH!!!!! APPLAUSE!!!!::

Why he's soooo dope:

1. One HELL of an artist ::sample of his work will be featured at the end of the post::

2. He's Japanese, Black, White, Asian, Korean, African, Caucasian....all blended into a Beautiful little specimen (you would never guess that he's ** years old)

3. He's very very very cultured....travelled to and lived in 60 different countries (not really sure. just an approxiamate)

4. Awesome DJ....always plays the hottest jams....pump up the jams DJ Architect

5. Has the cutest little sister...I called her Tinkerbell.

6. Oh...sorry...this should have been #1....Graphic Designer of Urban Anatomy-marketing, design, and style firm

7. Always has his trusty Ray Ban Wayfarers...always near....always ready

8. Music is his life....his muse...his inspiration...his EVERYTHING!!!

9. Reps URBAN ANATOMY....ALL DAY!!!!! And loves CULTURE COUTURE (supposed to be making us a logo...but that's another post)

On behalf of Mrs. Proper, I would like to thank Alex Therrien for being so DOPE. He will always have a special place in the hearts and lives of MP. Thank you for gracing the worlkd with your presence.

Until sooner than you think,

*MRS. Proper*

Something that everyone should know about....

Now my good people....I am exposing you to some realness that I stumbled upon while city hopping.


This website is unreal... dopeness.... fantastico.... creative.... fun.... expressive.... WOWzer....

It's called Lookbook.nu COLLECTIVE FASHION CONSCIOUSNESS

People from all over the world have to be chosen to join this online dope community. They display their style....simple as that.


There are catergories such as: Vintage, Preppy, Thrifted, Chanel, Betsey Johnson, Burberry....everything awesome to be honest.

There are also many people on here that wear one of a kind designs...the designers themselves....high-end items....thrift store finds..... DAMN>>>>>>I love this site.

Here are some on my favorites (especially this girl name Cruffie B.)

Now, one thing I can say is that there are not that many well-dress Black men on there. And I know know know there are some out there............somewhere. Excuse me while I look under a rock.

Please enjoy!! Apply to become part of the community. You might get lucky.

Until soon,

Mrs. Proper*